MONTREAL - Stress. Worry their dad will be killed by the Taliban. Long absences. More responsibilities. Coping with their father's post-traumatic stress disorder.
That's the toll on the children of some military families with members serving in Afghanistan illustrated in the new National Film Board of Canada documentary "Children of Soldiers," which premiered Thursday at Montreal's World Film Festival.
Director Claire Corriveau's follow-up to her 2007 film on military wives ("Nomad's Land") goes far beyond the front lines and into the kitchens and living rooms of four families posted to Canadian Forces Base Petawawa, Ont., during a deployment in 2008.
The results may come as a bit of a surprise to Canadians used to seeing the hugs and smiles of families during a soldier's return home or the stoic grief of relatives as the dead are brought back in solemn ceremonies.
Corriveau noted that some comments in the frank and intimate film were tough for even some of the soldiers themselves.
Evan Mills, son of soldier Scott Mills, said that as much as he loves him, it's sometimes nicer not to have his dad around because he yells so much.
"He's used to being in the military and that's the way he would treat his troops and I guess he does that with us a bit," Evan says.
Madeline Mills, the soldier's daughter, says she isn't interested in joining the military and questions the mission in Afghanistan.
"I don't want to fight for lost causes."
Scott Mills acknowledged that military life can be a "roller-coaster ride" for a family.
Four families are profiled, including that of Sgt. Greg Kruse, who was killed by an improvised explosive device two days after Christmas in 2008.
Corriveau didn't set out to criticize the military but wanted to highlight the problems faced by some families living in a culture she says trumpets resilience and glorifies its brave.
"We don't have any occasion to grasp the reality of those families."
Corriveau says the families often exist in a no-man's-land, not really civilian and not military and "I felt as soon as there are problems to deal with, they're kind of left on their own."
She made a conscious choice not to talk to official military spokespeople for the film, leaving the families to tell their stories in their own, unfiltered words.
"I think the military has all the means and media attention to communicate the extent of what they do and the support they provide," Corriveau said of her choices for the 52-minute film.
"My main goal was to make sure that those 52 minutes would be used to give a voice to the families."
It wasn't easy getting that voice to be heard. Corriveau spent a year gaining the families' confidence before spending nine months filming.
The youngsters were still reluctant when the cameras started rolling.
"There's always that fear that is always present in their minds — 'how will what I say affect my father's career?' " Corriveau explained.
But although the shyness eventually slipped away, there was no seeking of pity by the participants, who said they were proud of their fathers and hoped their stories will help others.
Celine Thompson, the director of the Canadian Forces' Military Family Services, said in an email to The Canadian Press the family services program works tirelessly to help the families of soldiers.
"Their job, in short, is to bolster families' strength and ensure families have the resources to meet the demands of the Canadian Forces lifestyle," she said.
"Through television and news reports, the public has come to understand that military families are strong and resilient. In fact, military families can be considered to be the strength behind the uniform."
Besides counselling and support for families, the military also said it provides both pre- and post-deployment help to soldiers and their family through its health services branch.
Corriveau said the families were the first to see the movie in private screenings and she said it was an emotional experience for them. She hopes it will help others to get help if they are experiencing difficulties.
"As soon as you share it, it becomes more easy to bear," she said.
The bilingual film, which has subtitles, is called "Enfants de soldats" in French.
Negotiations are ongoing for a wide release.